All in on Love

Oh, marvel at this groundbreaking masterpiece: a vinyl sticker where four hearts cards pathetically attempt to spell “LOVE,” as if anyone needed yet another reminder that romance is just a rigged casino game with worse odds than blackjack. Nothing screams “deep emotional maturity” quite like reducing romance to a mediocre poker hand.

Rendered in that insufferably precious cartoon style that whispers, “I’m deeply traumatized but I own succulents,” with hearts that progressively swell like a midlife crisis—peaking in one absurdly gigantic heart that’s clearly compensating for years of therapy avoidance. So brave. So vulnerable. So utterly delusional.

• Premium waterproof vinyl that laughs in the face of rain, coffee spills, and your tears.
• Adhesive so aggressive it commits harder than anyone you’ve ever matched with on an app.
• Fade-resistant printing—destined to remain vibrant long after your “soulmate” has blocked you.
• Precision die-cut edges, because even your sarcasm deserves sharp, high-end execution.
• ~2in only. Deal with it. Just like you deal with everything else.

Ideal for the chronically single who want to broadcast “I’m fine, really” to strangers, or for couples who need a passive-aggressive reminder that love is supposedly a “winning hand” and not just mutual toleration with better marketing.

Go ahead. Go all in. The house always wins, and we both know you’re bluffing anyway.