Teddy

Oh look, it’s the teddy bear that’s single-handedly carrying the entire cuteness economy in 2026. This plump little brown blob comes equipped with oversized ears so disproportionately huge they could double as satellite dishes (complete with peach lining, because why not overcommit?), dot eyes that stare into your soul with zero thoughts behind them, and a heart-shaped nose that’s clearly blackmailing you into saying “aww.”

And let’s not ignore the pièce de résistance: a massive red bow tie so aggressively cheerful it could power a small village through sheer forced optimism. Perfect for announcing to the world that yes, you still sleep with stuffed animals and no, you’re not ashamed.

• Guaranteed to trigger involuntary “awws” from strangers — perfect for breaking awkward silences.
• Waterproof and scratch-resistant - because your chaos shouldn’t ruin its perfection.
• Sticks like it’s emotionally attached; won’t peel off even if you regret your life choices later.
• ~2in - big enough to demand attention, small enough to pretend you’re not obsessed.
• Unlike real pets, this bear won’t judge you for eating cereal for dinner.

This sticker is here to passively-aggressively remind everyone that your water bottle, planner, or phone case could be way more adorable and you know it. Slap this unapologetically wholesome bear on something today.

Your bland belongings are begging for an intervention.