Pull It Out

Official mascot of every "whoops" baby, situationship survivor, and Catholic guilt support group since 1973.

The only kitchen appliance that comes with a built-in safe-sex PSA and a side of plausible deniability. This oven has baked more bad decisions than your ex’s Pinterest board. It’s seen raw…chicken, rawer emotions, and at least one 3am pregnancy test balanced on the warming rack. Now it’s here to remind you that sometimes the most responsible choice is also the hottest one.

• 2 inches of unapologetic, industrial-strength vinyl that sticks harder than your last hookup’s "u up?" texts
• Waterproof, heat resistant up to 500°F, shame-proof
• Survives being peeled off by furious landlords, mother-in-laws, and Planned Parenthood volunteers
• 100% effective at making your pastor choke on his own communion wine

Slap it on your actual oven and watch Grandma’s famous casserole suddenly taste like judgement. Stick it on your water bottle and let your gynecologist know you’re still a disappointment. Or put it on your laptop so your boss finally understands why you keep taking "personal days" in February.

Legal Disclaimer: Does not come with Plan B. That ship sailed with your dignity.